The Abercrombie Return Policy and A Three Wheeler


It was our senior year in high school, 2000, and like most high school kids we had found a good place to throw parties and drink. This particular place was our friend M’s parents house. They had a long backyard that was secluded from the house by a couple rows of trees. Basically if you looked into the backyard from the house all you would see was a bunch of trees and a path, but on the other side of the tree line was an opening that had a decent size pond with a bridge over it, a fire pit and then more trees. This was an ideal spot to hang out and drink as we had a fire to keep warm, a large corporation building on one side and trees surrounding all the other sides so no neighbors or anyone could really see us. I used to drive my Jeep back around the garage and into the clearing, take the top off and turn on the radio so we had some music back there. I guess we could have just brought a battery powered radio, but where’s the fun in that. 

Speaking of fun, there was also a three wheeler and possibly a go kart that M’s dad had fixed up. We would take turns riding the three wheeler around the pond and up over the bridge all the time, but apparently our friend P didn’t have much experience on a three wheeler. 

It was the weekend and we were all hanging out in M’s backyard, I don’t recall if we were drinking or not, but P swears that he was not since he didn’t really drink until he got to college. So we were just hanging out by the fire and I would say it was around 10PM, so it was definitely dark outside. P decides that he wants to try out the three wheeler. Now based on my description of this backyard you can probably tell that there isn’t much light back there, really the only light was from the fire and maybe a flashlight or two (or my Jeep headlights if we had it back there), so it was pretty dark. I don’t even think the headlight on the three wheeler worked and if it did it didn’t give off very much light. So P decides to take this thing out and ride it around for a bit, no problem we do this regularly, but he never has. So we’re just hanging out by the fire while P is zipping around the pond like he’s a pro until about 2 minutes later when we find out just how amateur he really is.

As he was trying to head over the little bridge over the 2 sections of the pond when “apparently” the steering locked up and he couldn’t make the turn. So instead of staying dry and going over the bridge, he veered right and went straight into the small section of the pond. It’s not that deep so he wasn’t full submerged and the three wheeler wasn’t completely destroyed, but P’s clothes sure were. His pants and part of his shirt were soaked with pond water that smelled absolutely disgusting. So he changed out of the wet clothes and tried to figure out what to do about them since they were pretty much destroyed.

We all just assumed that P was going to throw them out since they smelled like shit even after they were washed, something about that pond just stays with you forever. So we didn’t think anything of it until a couple days later when P called me. Apparently his clothes were “nice” Abercrombie clothes that he didn’t want to just chalk up to a loss so he bagged them up and took them to the mall. Keep in mind these weren’t new clothes that he had just bought, he had probably had them for about 6 months or so and they were heavily worn prior to the pond accident, but that didn’t stop him from trying. So he went to the Abercrombie store in the mall and brought the clothes to the counter asking if he could exchange the clothes for different ones. I don’t even think they still sold the same style which is why he couldn’t get the same ones. The person at the counter asked him what was wrong with them and he told them that they smelled bad and he couldn’t get the smell out… And with that he had a whole new outfit, no questions asked.

Now I don’t know if the people working at Abercrombie were just that dumb to realize that P had obviously destroyed these clothes or if they genuinely thought that he bought them, got them home, then 6 months later realized that they smelled like shit. Either way P was happy and had a good story to tell. So for those of you that still wear Abercrombie and maybe have a ruined pair of pants or just a shirt that’s no longer in style, it can’t hurt to bring it back and make up some lame excuse to see if you can get some free clothes out of the deal.