Nostalgia – My Pet Monster: A Tale of Terror

my pet monster

my pet monster

My Pet Monster was first introduced to the world in 1986 and instantly become a huge hit amongst kids, me being one of them… kind of. For the sake of argument we’re going to say I was 6 at the time, which would mean this story takes place in 1988, two years after the introduction of My Pet Monster. It was Christmas time and there was only one thing that I wanted Santa Claus to bring me… a My Pet Monster. With it’s bright blue hair, snarling snout, grimy and grotesque teeth and playful shackles, I knew we would instantly become best friends who would set out on magical adventures to scare my younger brothers.

For the months leading up to Christmas it’s all I talked about, he was at the top of my list. It would be a huge disappointment if he wasn’t waiting to burst through the wrapping paper on Christmas morning ready to terrorize all who crossed me. I already had big plans for him too. I was going to hide him in closets and behind the shower curtain, just waiting for an unsuspecting victim to fall into my trap. He was going to eat my brothers My Buddy doll alive and spit his bones into the dog bowl for Sheba to enjoy. Christmas morning is always an exciting time for a 6 years old, but this Christmas was different, I was sure of it. This Christmas I was going to get that hard-to-find toy that all the other kids wanted, but their parents didn’t love them enough to push little old ladies out of the way to get them. I was going to be so cool.

Christmas morning finally came and after barely sleeping the night before I arose from my slumber around 5am and bolted out to the living room to find a Christmas tree with mountains of presents underneath it; Santa was good to us. I dug around a little bit, being careful not to prematurely open any presents, thus upsetting Santa (and my parents), but I couldn’t be sure that My Pet Monster was waiting for me. A slight feeling of disappointment came over me as I wondered if I had been naughty that year and Santa didn’t get me what I wanted. Or maybe My Pet Monster is too scary for his elves to make and I would just have to beg my parents to buy me one for my birthday. That wouldn’t have been the worst thing since my birthday was in January, but I wanted My Pet Monster now! I couldn’t wait another month.

A couple hours later the rest of the family woke up to find me and my brothers waiting anxiously on the couch near the tree. The time had come, I was finally going to see if my dreams were going to come true. We have a tradition in our family where one person opens one gift at a time and we go around the room, thus making Christmas morning last a little longer. We had gone around the circle a handful of times already and none of the presents had revealed a bright blue, stuffed monster… I was starting to get a little worried.

We went around the circle a couple more times and that was it, there were no more presents under the tree. I could feel all my hopes and dreams disappearing as I wasn’t cuddling with a scary monster. I could sense the grand world I had built in my mind disappearing, a world where My Pet Monster and I would scare the ever living crap out of each other and then retreat back to my bedroom for grilled cheese and milk. But then I heard those words, “I think Santa left one more gift behind the couch over there. He must have run out of room under the tree”. I ran over as fast as I could to discover a gift with my name on it sitting behind the couch, right where my parents said Santa left it. I began tearing through the paper as if the cure for cancer, a disease I knew nothing about at the time, was inside. After the dust settled from the tasmanian devil-style rampage I put on that wrapping paper, there it was, a huge warty nose, vicious teeth and bright blue hair, it was a beautiful sight.

I spent all day playing with him, throwing him into the air, twirling him around as if we were joyfully spinning in a field of dandelions, he was my best friend… until the sun when down. After all of the family left for the day and it was just us and the monster something dawned on me… he was an untamable beast and he was going to eat me as soon as I fell asleep. How could I have been so stupid to have invited this creature into our home, how could I have put my family in danger like that. I was terrified. There he was, sitting in the chair in the corner of the bedroom, watching and waiting for me to fall asleep so he could devour me whole… I couldn’t do it. I called for my mom and made her lock the monster in the family room so that he couldn’t get to me while I slept, but that wasn’t enough. After a long night of tossing and turning the morning finally came. The monster hadn’t left his post in the living room, but I couldn’t bare to look him in the eyes, he had to go. I made my mom give him to a friend of ours that day, I couldn’t go another night knowing he was in the house.

This gift that I wanted so badly ended up terrorizing me for an entire 24 hours to the point where I couldn’t handle it anymore. I hoped and prayed that Santa would forgive me for giving away a gift that his elves worked so hard on, but for the safety of my family, I just couldn’t do it. I hope he lived a long and happy life with his new family. Thankfully he did not murder them in their sleep.