Twitter has blown up since I started using it (which I think was almost 3 years ago) and with the increase in users comes an increase in dumb posts and stupid “trends”, for lack of a better word. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve unfollowed just because their posts are completely dumb and useless, so I figured I’d rundown my Top 10 Twitter Pet Peeves, whether they are actual posts on Twitter or just the use of it in general… and if I follow[ed] you and you think I’m talking about you, well… I don’t know what to tell you, maybe you should rethink your posts before you send them…
10. Hash Tag Overuse – I love hash tags, don’t get me wrong, but the people that use a hash tag for every little thing annoy the hell out of me. Honestly this one isn’t even really directed at a specific person that I follow (although I do hate completely pointless hash tags like #justinbeiberisalesbian), it’s directed more at @cnnbrk. Seriously CNN, do you really need to put a hash tag on every other word in every single one of your posts? This is an example post from @cnnbrk from this morning:
#Arizona convicted #killer’s last words: ‘#Boomer Sooner’ http://on.cnn.com/cp8iHz
Ok, thanks, I appreciate that you’re telling me the breaking news regarding this incredible news story that has nothing to do with the fact that our country is in shambles and we’re still losing troops in a pointless war, but did you really need hash tags on Arizona, killer’s and boomer? I think you’re missing the point of hash tags, please stop using them.
9. Follow Friday – When Twitter was first starting out and nobody had friends to follow them, this was a good idea, now it’s just annoying. I don’t give a shit if you have friends that you find cool and think that people should follow, why the hell would I want to follow your friends? Just because you think they are cool doesn’t mean they aren’t douche bags and you are also a douche bag… If I wanted to follow your friends I would already be following them. You telling me to follow them is going to make me not want to follow them so please just stop with the follow fridays!
8. Cryptic Tweets – Why do some people find it necessary to tweet something that makes no sense to anyone but themselves? If I were to post “Big things happening, money in the bank, wish I could tell you all”, you would obviously think I’m a huge douche, but you’d probably still be a little curious as to what was going on, which is exactly what I want you to think because I need attention from random people on Twitter, but seeing as how all my business ventures are private I can’t tell you, but I can at least tell you that I can’t tell you…. Uhhhhh, if you can’t tell us what it is that you’re doing then don’t bother tweeting it. I get when a celebrity or company teases an announcement, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. These are tweets from normal people, not celebrities despite what they want to think, just wanting people to show them attention or seem cooler than everyone else, but here’s a news flash, you’re not so just stop.
7. Pointless Re-Tweets – I’m probably guilty of this one, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t annoy me. I get that you think you’re all spiritual and whatever, but you don’t need to re-tweet everything that Rev. Run (Run DMC) posts every morning, if I wanted to read his wise words every morning I would follow him myself. Same with the horoscopes, why the hell would you re-tweet (or tweet) your horoscope every morning? Not everyone that follows you has the same sign as you and not everyone cares about their horoscope. Here’s a newsflash: Horoscopes are made by the same guy that makes fortune cookie fortunes, it’s just some random little Chinese guy sitting in a room with a shitload of other little Chinese guys taking random words and stringing them together into pointless English sentences, they don’t mean anything! If you’re a Libra here’s your horoscope for the day; “You will find happiness in tubed meats today, be sure to tell your dog you love them and be well.” Anyone can write this shit and still, nobody cares, stop re-tweeting this crap! Oh and back to CNN, why the fuck does @cnnbrk find it necessary to re-tweet almost everything that @cnnlive posts?!?!! I would have followed @cnnlive if I wanted to get their posts, ugh…
6. Personal Business Accounts – I understand the use of social network in expanding and interacting with customers and clients, it actually makes a lot of sense and it’s an easy way to see what people are saying about your company. And on the other hand I understand that making a business account more personable is a great way to build relationships with those customers, but what I don’t understand is why you would use your personal Twitter account as your business account. Maybe this goes along with wanting to be internet popular, but I view it as being unprofessional. If you’re trying to raise awareness for your product and your business then I think you should make an account geared specifically for that and leave your personal dealings to your personal account. I don’t think you should be posting about how drunk you got or how you’re “poppin bottles”, on the same account that you use for business purposes. It’s fine if you make it known that you post under two accounts and you separate them, but to have the username of “justinbeiberfan” and be posting about your multi-million dollar company as well as getting wasted just seems stupid to me.
6. Foursquare Integration – Plain and simple, if I wanted all of your god damn foursquare updates I would follow you on foursquare!
5. Twitpic, yfrog, etc. – Make up your damn mind! Pick a site to use for posting pictures and stick with it. I don’t know if most of you realize that you can usually select (within the main twitter apps on all phones) which service to post pictures to so when you switch apps just go ahead and set the preferences to your usual posting spots. This causes me massive headaches when I want to stalk all of the pictures you’ve posted on Twitter since I have to then track down all of the sites you’ve ever used to post pictures and it just leads to a lot of lost stalking time. Plus, some of these random picture posting sites aren’t integrated with the majority of apps, as far as viewing goes, so I’m always forced to load up separate pages outside of the app instead of just showing me the picture!
4. Random Quotes – This one goes along with a couple of the others above, but instead of re-tweeting the pointless quotes that make no sense, you’re the one posting them. And on top of it, most of the time nobody has any fucking clue what is going on in your life that would warrant said quote. If I were to post a very “creative” line from an Eminem song like this “… so suck my dick on the couch if you want to cushion the blow” people would assume I’m very creative and/or having sexual relations on a couch, but in actuality none of those are happening because I’m an idiot.
3. Facebook Integration w/ @’s and #’s – Facebook integration with Twitter is awesome, that’s not what this is about, this is about those people that write a tweet full of @ replies and #hash tags and then post them to their Facebook status as well. Those things don’t carry over to the Facebook world and you make yourself look like you have keyboard tourettes. Keep the @ replies and #hash tags to the Twitter world and if you really want to post the same thing to Facebook as you did on Twitter just launch Facebook and retype it… seriously.
2. You’re Not A Celebrity – These posts are from the people that want to appear cool to people online when in actuality they are not as cool as they think. Everyone has a friend on Twitter that makes these posts so I don’t think I need to explain it too much, but if you don’t have a friend on Twitter that makes these posts you may want to look at your own posts because it’s probably you.
1. Tweeting in Public – If you’re out with a group of friends having a few drinks at the bar, or whatever you may be doing, there is absolutely no reason to be on your phone constantly on Twitter. I’m definitely guilty of having my phone out and on the table at the bar/restaurant or whatever, but I’m never posting to Twitter, I’m usually deleting junk email and trying to get in touch with other people that may want to meet up (not via Twitter). I’ll give you the fact that occasionally something exciting may happen and you need to snap a quick picture and tweet it out, but 9 times out of 10 whatever you find interesting at the time is not interesting to your followers that are not physically with you. And on top of it, the people that are physically with you are making fun of you behind your back because you’re at the bar with actual people and you still feel the need to try to impress your “virtual friends”. Eventually you’re going to lose all of your real friends and you’ll end up going to the bar alone, buying a beer and holding conversations with your Twitter friends as everyone around you laughs… sounds like a fun Saturday night, enjoy it while I go quote Eminem lyrics with an actual girl.