Facebook as become an integral way to communicate and keep in touch with friends and family, but there are some things that your Facebook Status is just not meant for. I understand that it’s a way to broadcast to your friends how you feel or what you’re doing, but I don’t want to hear your political banter or an entire verse from a shitty emo song that describes how shitty you’re feeling that day, everyone’s got problems, deal with it. Stop trying to feed your attention whoring ass by making people feel they need to respond to your status. Let’s jump into a few of the Facebook status topics that I can’t stand.

1. Political issues – There is one person in particular that I went to high school with that is a “friend” of mine on Facebook that constantly posts shit about politics. I honestly don’t even know why I’m friends with her on Facebook considering I never talked to her in high school, but anyways. She constantly posts status updates as well as notes and links regarding politics and how Obama is running this country into the ground and that McCain would have been a much better choice, blah blah blah. It’s especially bad because now she’s all about shooting down universal healthcare and she just comes off sounding like an idiot. I’m surprised she didn’t jump on the bandwagon about Obama not being a US citizen, ugh. I want so badly to post a comment on her status and just tell her to shut up, but I’m not that type of person. So instead I’ll just bash her here, anonymously. The funny thing is I really don’t even care about politics, I’m not even registered to vote, but I do know when people are making themselves sound like idiots. I don’t care if you post about politics, but just know all the facts before you post.

2. Fuck My Life (FML) – Those people that write something dumb and then put “FML” after it. These statuses aren’t even creative, “Stepped in a big puddle, FML”, “Got caught rubbing one out at work, FML”, “My dog took a shit on the floor and I stepped in it after just getting out of the shower, FML”. If those are the worst things in your life then you have nothing to complain about. If you’re status starts reading “Not enough money to buy food this week” or “Just diagnosed with AIDS and Herpes” then you have my permission to put FML after it, but if you’re not dying or starving to death, then you have nothing to complain about. The whole FML fad is the new Emo. Yeah, if you put FML after your status or after anything at all you are now new Emo, get over it.

3. Complaining about people/situations in your life – This could have gone in with the “FML” status, but it’s a little different. These statuses are the ones like “I’m just trying to make my life better, why are these people always bringing me down” or “I’m done with people like that in my life, if you can’t be a man then fuck off, I’m done”. Shit like that is just a cry for attention whether you know it or not. All you’re looking for when you post a status update like that is someone to comment and ask you what’s wrong. Get over yourself, nobody cares that you’re “done with the bullshit”, we all deal with bullshit everyday, but we’re not out there posting it to get sympathy. Call a close friend and complain, don’t take to the internet to vent your frustration like that. Don’t get me wrong, there are some things that are ok to vent about on the internet (like shitty facebook statuses) but deliberately posting a status just to get someone to ask if you’re ok is pathetic. Which leads me into the next one…

4. One word – there are some one word statuses that I’m sure are ok, but again these are just attention seeking statuses. You’re venting your frustrations in hope that someone will comment. I mean what else would you gain by posting “Ouch” or “Fuck” or “Seriously?” as a status. You know someone is going to comment and be like “What’s wrong?”, which is exactly what you want. If you really need to vent about something post something like “Ouch, I just got caught beating meat at work” or “Seriously? Why would someone piss on the seat in the bathroom” at least with those you’re venting and telling us why. Now we have a little more information to go on when choosing whether or not to comment on the fact that either you’re rubbing one out at work or you got a new job at a meat packing plant.

5. Song lyrics pertaining to how you feel – I was guilty of this when it came to AIM away messages when I was like 15 and just broke up with my girlfriend, but to do it on Facebook today is just pathetic. If you’re having a bad day just say “Having a bad day, can’t wait till it’s over” instead of quoting “Comfortably Numb” to describe how you’re feeling. Just be straight forward otherwise it sounds like another cry for attention. If you really have to quote a song, quote something like Baby Got Back “I like big butts and I cannot lie…” at least then we know what you’re saying, you like big butts and you’re telling the truth. See, it’s not cryptic and it’s to the point, and this then allows us to decide if we like big butts also and want to comment on that fact.

I’m sure there are tons of other Facebook status categories that annoy me when people post them, but I’m getting annoyed with writing this article so I have to stop. I think I’ll go post about it on Facebook though just so everyone can know how I’m feeling.

What are your pet peeves when it comes to Facebook Statuses?

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