Punxsutawney Phil is a Bastard

So Beloved groundhog Punxsutawney Phil popped his bastard head out of the ground this morning and saw his shadow. What does that mean? Apparently we are in for a longer winter, which doesn’t make any sense to me.

So if the groundhog sees it’s shadow that would mean that it’s sunny outside right? So why doesn’t the appearance of the sun mean that spring is just around the corner? I would assume if it was cloudy and shitty outside Phil wouldn’t see his shadow and that would mean more winter… Does anyone know the logic behind the shadow thing? Or how many years this giant rat has been right at predicting the future? I’d look it up but the Internet is blocked at work even more so than last week, so I’ve reverted to updating via my iPhone, thank god for technology.

Oh and another thing, who thought the name “Gobbler’s Knob” was a good name for a public place? Sounds like an awesome porn title to me.