For those of you that are not lucky enough to live near a Medieval Times or the Excalibur in Las Vegas I’ll explain a little bit of what it is, although I’m sure most people are familiar with it. It’s basically a large arena where knights put on a Medieval show for you. There are 6 different knights each with their own section of the arena and they perform different challenges and battles against one another to impress the king and Princess. And while you’re enjoying the show they feed you a meal fit for a king.
So I hadn’t been to one of these shows since we went to the one at The Excalibur in Las Vegas when I was a junior in high school. And while I remember it being kind of lame at the time, I still wanted to go back now that I was a little older and check it all out, plus I thought it could be fun to go with a group of our friends, and if nothing else it was different than just going to the bar and drinking yet again. So the perfect opportunity arose in a friends 28th birthday. I had mentioned that I wanted to go to Medieval Times over the summer when we were all up at a friends lake house and everyone loved the idea. So T’s wife J planned the whole evening and made all the arrangements, which took place this past weekend. 19 of us put on our armor and grabbed a flaaggen of ale and proceeded to be taken back in time to the days of knights and kings.
The show itself was, of course, a little on the corny side, but really what do you expect when going to see some grown men dressed up as knights and kings dancing around a ring as horses crap all over the place, but that’s not to say it was bad. Despite the fact that the beer wenches were slow as balls at bringing drinks (it was faster to leave the arena and go out to the bar to get them yourselves), we all had a great time. We were in the Green Knight’s section, who was the bad ass of the evening. Apparently a foe of the king, he showed a complete lack of respect and was just a cocky prick, but he was awesome. We started getting way into it, chanting and screaming whenever the Green Knight did anything remotely cool, although on this occasion our knight failed and was brutally murdered in front of our eyes. But that didn’t matter, it was highly entertaining and we all had a great time.
Now since this was Medieval Times of course there was no silverware, but apparently there was Pepsi and glow memorabilia (I don’t feel like quoting The Cable Guy like all my friends were doing). Despite the addition of Pepsi instead of something like Mead to drink, the food was actually quite good. I half expected the food to be shitty considering that there was a show that ended right as we got there, meaning there were at least 2 full shows of people that the staff had to cook for that night. I assumed it would be sort of like wedding food in that since they had to cook for so many people it would be pretty shitty or undercooked or something, but that wasn’t the case. They start you off with soup, which is already on the table in coffee carafes (and yes, one of my friends thought it was water and poured it into his glass only to realize it when he took the first sip), the soup is a tomato bisque and was very good. Next they give you one of the best, most moist, pieces of garlic bread I’ve ever had, delicious. Follow that up with 1/2 of a good sized chicken (which used to be a full Cornish game hen if I remember) and 1 rib and 1/2 an herb roasted potato, all of which were delicious as well. And to top it all off, for dessert was an apple pastry of sorts. And we had 2 vegetarians in our group who were given a portabella mushroom stuffed with wild rice and something else with cheese on it which they said was delicious. So overall I was extremely impressed with the food that we were served which made everything that much more enjoyable.
So if you’re looking for something different to do on the weekends I highly recommend getting a large group of friends together and hitting up Medieval Times for Dinner and a Show. We of course still went to the bar afterward, but I would have been perfectly content if all we did that night was watched a Medieval battle.