The Magic Drink


The neighborhood I lived in growing up was actually a pretty sweet place to be a kid. There were tons of other kids our age within a few blocks, there was a park right down the street at the elementary school, plenty of trees to climb and everyone knew everyone, which was both a good and bad thing. Good in the sense that nobody would care if we ran through their backyards or climbed their trees, but bad in the sense that if we messed up, it would eventually get back to our parents, which brings me to “The Magic Drink”.

On my block there were a good amount of kids our age. There were me and my brothers who are pretty close in age, the neighbors right next door had 4 boys, 2 of which were about our ages, the other 2 were older. There were originally the middle eastern(?) kids across the street, Faruq and Aziim (or osmething like that), but they moved out and in moved an asian family who also had two kids that were about our age, maybe slightly younger. I believe their names were Donny and Bebe, I don’t know if we every figured out if Bebe was the kids real name or if he was just called that cause he had some weird asian name and to fit in with American kids they just called him Bebe. These two will be the primary focus of this story, but their neighbors 2 houses down, the preachers kids (he was either a preacher/minister/pastor or something, I don’t remember) will come up in another story from the old block, those kids were a little older, but that didn’t stop us from messing with them.

So back to Donny and Bebe. Donny was the older one and at the time of this story I would say he was maybe 8 years old, and I was probably 11, my brother was 8 and my cousin who was in town at the time, was around 12 or 13. So Donny and Bebe’s parents must have never taught them the ways of America when it comes to letting yourself in to other peoples homes. I could recall many times where we’d be sitting around playing Nintendo and all of a sudden we heard a cruching noise behind us. We’d spin around to see Donny sitting on a chair, eating OUR chips and watching us play video games. He was so sneaky you wouldn’t even hear the door open, I think he was a ninja back in asia.

So this would happen multiple times throughout the course of a summer. Donny would just show up and walk into the house if he saw someone through the window or heard someone, it didn’t even have to be us kids. I remember my mom telling us about how he came by to see if we wanted to play, yet she was in the kitchen cleaning when he showed up behind her, nearly causing her to smack him with a mop. And of course his little brother would tag along everywhere he went, which isn’t a big deal, that’s what little brothers do. But imagine waking up from a nap because you smell something terrible and open your eyes to find 2 little asian kids playing your Nintendo, screwing up all your progress on Zelda. And no I’m not saying all asians smell bad (I’m currently dating one), I’m saying that THESE asians smelled bad. So something needed to be done about the sneaking around and always wanting to hang out with us.

So one hot summer day me, my younger brother, and my cousin, as I mentioned above, were sitting around doing pretty much nothing when Donny shows up at the door and wants to hang out, ugh. We didn’t really feel like hanging out with him even though we were doing nothing, but we had an idea. We told him we had stuff to do, but to come back the next day and we’d hang out. He went home all happy that we wanted to actually hang out with him the next day, but little did he know what we had in store. We immediately went into the kitchen and found the biggest plastic cup we could find.

This cup was huge, i would say 22 oz or so, plenty of room for, well, anything we could possibly find in the kitchen. Everyone’s done this at one point in their life, mix random crap together in a glass and then daring people to drink it. Whether it’s a bunch of different alcohols, random beers, cigarette butts, whatever, you know you’ve done it, so we were no different. We went through the kitchen pouring anything edible that we could find into this cup: milk, juice, lemonade, ketchup, mustard, worchester sauce, mayo, chocolate sauce, pepper, salt, spices galore, tobasco sauce, lemon/lime juice, pickle juice, pretty much anything we could find. We mixed it all up and threw it in the freezer, this we dubbed “The Magic Drink”.

The next day we woke up and took the Magic Drink out of the freezer. It had frozen solid into a junk of nasty ice/mess. So what did we do? We took knives and smashed that shit up into a slushie, what kid doesn’t love a slushie? Donny probably doesn’t anymore, that’s for sure.

So you can probably guess what happened next. Donny and Bebe showed up at the door and wanted to hang out. We invited them in and told them in order to hang out with us Donny had to drink the Magic Drink. We had all already done it before they got there and it was the only way to be a part of the group (and no, we did not drink this cup of dog vomit ourselves). So he put the cup up to his nose and took a whiff… his face was almost green, we thought he was going to lose it without even taking a sip, but he held on. He was pretty hesitant to take a sip after he smelled it, but we are pretty convincing assho— I mean kids, so he started drinking.

I think he only lasted about 2 sips before he grabbed his stomach and said he had to leave. He took Bebe and they went across the street and back home… sweet no more asian side kicks for the day, so we went about our summertime fun. About an hour or 2 later Donny and Bebe’s mom showed up at the door and wanted to speak to my mom. She didn’t speak english very well so it was kind of hard to understand what she was saying, but what we got out of it was that Donny came home and puked his brains out and apparently said that we fed him a “Magic Drink”. She was all worried that we gave him something toxic or something that would permanently harm him, but we assured her that everything that was in the cup o’ crap was perfectly edible, but never did we mention that a human being should never consume them all at the sime time, in slushie form.

We started to tell her all of the ingredients and she immediately looked like she too was going to puke and I think my mom was trying not to laugh. We apologized and she left and we continued with our lives, never thinking twice, never being punished and getting a good laugh out of it. Donny, Bebe and their mother (no clue if they had a father living there, never saw him) moved out of the neighborhood about 6 months to a year after this incident so I have no idea what ever became of them. I’m sure Donny probably went on to work for the FDA or maybe a taste tester for new foods, and Bebe is probably his boss. I’d like to think that we made an everlasting impression on those two and that throughout the course of their lives they will never forget the day of fun, sun and slushies.