American Idol Finale 2009 – Kris Allen vs Adam Lambert

First of all I can’t believe I’m writing another post about American Idol on here. I will admit that in the past I have watched the audition shows that they have at the beginning of the season, but this is the first time that I have ever actually watched every episode (not in their entirety) for an entire season. Normally I only enjoy watching the absolutely terrible singers make a fool out of themselves on national television, but the girlfriend was really into this season so sometimes you have to compromise. But enough excuses, lets talk about the finale.

You know how people tell you one thing and sometimes you just want to think the complete opposite just to spite them, but then further down the road you realize that maybe your friends were right all along? That’s how I felt last night when I saw Fergie’s face. Pictures on the internet and her music videos make her look extremely hot and while she does have a ridiculously hot body her face looks like one of the old Dick Tracy villains (from the Warren Beatty movie). I mean her face looked seriously bad… like if some really hot chick had sex with Freddy Krueger and she had a baby girl and then when that baby girl grew up, Freddy invaded her dreams and royally fucked up her face which in turn fucked up her face in real life. I have to imagine that Josh Duhamel tapes a magazine headshot of her to a paper bag and puts it over her head every time he taps that. 

Fergie’s face aside, the rest of the show was alright I guess. 2 hours is a long time to be watching American Idol though. Some of the performances were just awkward, particularly when the top 13 sung “So What” or whatever that song by Pink is called. They seemed all out of whack and they kept leaving the blind guy standing by himself swaying around like an idiot. Megan Joy did look hot tonight though, glad to see her back and not swaying around like a weirdo… Her little swaying motion that she did throughout the season was so weird and awkward that I think I saw the blind guy try to kill himself. 

Now I did watch a few of the performances, but only those that had the 2 finalists in them. I thought Kris Allen did a great job performing with Keith Urban and could definitely see him singing that kind of music, it’s not quite country but it’s not ridiculous like anything Adam Lambert could put on an album. The only thing Adam Lambert could ever do is be the lead singer for Queen, which he proved at the end of the show. There is no type of modern music that he could possibly sing that people would not get annoyed with after listening to the first 10 seconds of it. Maybe he could just do a remake of the CATS soundtrack or something…

I have never been a fan of Adam and to this day I still don’t get his appeal. I wrote a post about this last week or something, but I’m going to revisit it a little. There’s no doubt that the guy has a decent voice, but he doesn’t know when to hold back and he’s way too theatrical for the music industry today. He tries to make songs his “own” but instead he ends up butchering classics. I think Johnny Cash rolled over in his grave when Adam sang his song earlier in the season. I’m not even a Johnny Cash fan, but that was the worst performance of any singer on the American Idol stage this year… he should have been embarrassed for that one. And his rendition of “Mad World” was far from his own take on the song as that same rendition was done for the movie Donnie Darko years ago, way to be unique as you so claim. And last but not least, what’s with the screaming? There is absolutely no reason to open your mouth as wide as you possibly can and wag your tongue around as you scream…during every single song. We know you have a decent voice, but you ruin it by opening your mouth. And everyone that wanted Adam to win, what kind of album would he be able to put out? Like I said he’d be good in a band like Queen and even did alright with KISS, but those bands aren’t popular anymore. Look at the previous American Idol winners they all put out music that was semi relevant at the time they won. Arguably the more popular ones like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood did pop and country respectively, even David Cook is doing the more ballad type rock music. And when it comes to non winners, Daughtry is probably the best example (along with Jennifer Hudson) he’s doing the rock thing and he’s doing it big, but the difference is it’s relevant rock for todays culture. Can you picture Adam Lambert singing a Daughtry song? Or even any of the songs on David Cook’s album? No, he would ruin them with his gargantuan mouth. I have no doubt that Adam will put out a record and will be signed by the American Idol record label (as I think they are contractually obligated once they reach a certain point) but I don’t think it’s going to be what people were expecting. 

Now that doesn’t necessarily mean that I think Kris will do any better. I do like the guy and I think he’s got talent, but he just doesn’t have the star quality that I think it takes to make a star in the rock world. I picture him as putting out an album very similar to David Cook, who I also like, but don’t feel like he’s as strong as an artist. Daughtry is what they both need to strive to be like. He just has that powerful voice that should come with a rock singer. So I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what Kris does. Who knows maybe he’ll flip completely around and do a Christian rock album, maybe Creed will realize that getting back together with Scott Stapp was a mistake and they’ll bring in Kris as their new lead singer….. I’m pretty sure God hates Creed. 

So that’s it for American Idol and I don’t foresee myself writing anymore on the subject until next season. I may throw up a quick review of both Adam Lambert and Kris Allen’s CDs whenever they are released, I just hope that Kara DioGuardi isn’t the writer for any more of their songs… that mountain humping song or whatever that shit is that she wrote is absolutely terrible for both of them.