Zombie Strippers Review

If you haven’t heard of this flick don’t worry you’re not missing much. Jenna Jameson, the porn star, and Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) star in this ridiculously stupid zombie movie. A secret government experiment to re-animate dead soldiers for use on the battlefield “accidentaly” leaks from the lab and causes everyone there to turn into zombies. Wow, this sounds familiar, so what makes this any different than every other zombie movie that starts this way? Mercenaries are brought in to contain the zombies and one of them foolishly gets bit and then stumbles outside and into an illegal strip club next door. He dies on the ground, comes back to life, bites Jenna Jameson and she turns into a zombie.

When she returns to life as a zombie she’s not your typical zombie, all she wants to do is dance. Yeah, as in strip. I know what you’re thinking, “Jenna Jameson already looks like a zombie…” and that she does. She’s rail thin with huge tits and she just doesn’t look comfortable on a pole. I take that back, she doesn’t look comfortable on a “stripper” pole. So she turns into a zombie and starts stripping and for some reason all the clowns in the club are ridiculously turned on by this which makes all the other girls jealous. And the only way for the other girls to make as much money as Jenna is to become zombies… Hey, nobody ever said strippers were smart.

So that’s the basic idea behind the movie, all the strippers become zombies and start killing people when giving them lap dances. Robert Englund plays the germaphobe club owner who refuses to go near the strippers for fear that he’ll catch herpes, but later in the movie one of the stripper zombies gives him a “face dance”, so I don’t think herpes is all he has to worry about. Imagine a zombie stripper taking off her g-string, which is covered in slime, standing over your face, and sitting down… mmm tasty.

I can’t really recommend this movie, it had decent gore effects but the whole plot line was dumb. It wasn’t even “so bad it’s good”, it was just bad. The acting was terrible, the strippers weren’t even attractive unless you like a skeleton with tits and huge lips. Speaking of which, when did Jenna Jameson become so thin? I know she’s pregnant now with Tito Ortiz’s twins so hopefully that will faten her ass up. Oh and Tito was in the movie as well, he played a giant pussy. So if you’re in need of a good, campy zombie movie that you might actually enjoy, I would stay away from this one. After a while I just felt disgusted watching zombies take their clothes off, and here I thought that would be one of the greatest things in the world.