“A Haunted House” Blu-Ray Review

a haunted house blu-ray review

I’m not ashamed to admit that I am still a fan of the first 2 “Scary Movie” movies; the rest of the series not so much, but those first 2 with the Wayans brothers were actually kind of funny to me. They were definitely stupid spoof movies, but they actually tried to weave together a cohesive story unlike the later installments that just tried to jam as many jokes about other movies into them as they could. Don’t forget the fact that the first 2 were rated R as well… which always helps in a movie like that. Needless to say, when I heard that Marlon Wayans was going to be in another horror-spoof movie, I was actually a bit excited… until I found out that his brothers Shawn and Keenan were’t involved at all. And after watching this flick, I’m pretty sure that those two must have had a huge part in the success of the 1st two “Scary Movie” movies, because “A Haunted House” is downright terrible.

Where the “Scary Movie” movies spoofed the “Scream” series, “A Haunted House” dives into the “Paranormal Activity” realm, and does a terrible job at it. Malcolm’s (Marlon Wayans) girlfriend Kisha (Essence Atkins, from How High) moves in with him after dating for a few months and almost immediately strange things start to happen around the house. Malcolm sets up cameras to see what’s going on and they are immediately shocked by the weird phenomenon occurring in the house. Of course these things aren’t scary at all and are more like that scene in “Scary Movie 2” where Tori Spelling’s character has sex with a ghost…. Basically that’s what this whole movie is, and it’s not even funny. Most of the jokes are just stupid and there aren’t even that many of them. It’s kind of like Marlon Wayans was acting as serious as he could while making the jokes… it’s hard to describe. Even when Nick Swardson shows up as a gay psychic it’s just dumb. Or the swinger friends that are trying so hard to get Malcolm and Kisha to sleep with them… not funny. There was literally nothing funny about this movie at all… the only amusing part was when the two of them were smoking a joint in the bedroom with the ghost, and even that wasn’t that funny. In fact, it actually took me 4 nights to get through the whole thing because I just couldn’t bare to watch any more.

The audio and video on the disc are fine. The picture is clear, they didn’t use actual handheld video cameras so the quality of a movie is actually there and it doesn’t lose anything in the blu-ray transfer. The special features on this disc are totally lacking. It’s a blu-ray/dvd combo pack so you get the best of both worlds, but the only special feature is a featurette called “How To Survive A Paranormal Presence”… which is just the trailer with a couple quick interviews spliced in. It’s 2 minutes long and even that got boring.

So do yourself a favor and don’t bother with “A Haunted House”, instead go back and watch the first “Scary Movie”. It may not be a great movie, but it’s definitely funnier than this pile of garbage.